Post Holiday Blues

I woke up yesterday morning with mixed emotions. For one, I had spent an awesome few days relaxing with James, his mom, and Abbey and Parker. We ate…and ate…did a little Black Friday shopping, went to a tree farm to get a HUGE Christmas tree and I had my first eggnog latte of the season (iced, of course)! My mother-in-law was still in town, and so I was excited to spend a little more time with her before she left. But, there was something else…something I couldn’t put my finger on….just kind of a nagging feeling deep in the pit of my stomach. Maybe it was all the lose ends I am trying to tie neatly together before Christmas…or, maybe it was feeling a little off after eating ALL of that pie…but there was just something.

I think sometimes, after such wonderful celebrations with family and friends, there’s a feeling that you just don’t want it to end. Ever. I want the times we celebrate to be more often than the times we wait. But, I guess without the anticipation, the payoff might not be so great. I feel like winter is definitely a season of anticipation for me. It drives me crazy that I just can’t quite be content and being inside more than outside, doing things little slower, making plans, and waiting…for the snow to come, for the snow to go away…for the big celebration of Christmas…it’s too much for me to handle!

I wish I knew how to handle these dark days better. For now, I try to remind myself how very, very lucky I am to be able to spend time with family and eat just about as much as we want…maybe, just maybe I’ll eventually be able to see beauty and life in these blues…



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