Birthday Wishes…

Today, I received a little card in the mail from my mom and dad…

It says, “Life is between the trapeze bars,” on the front. They sent it to me because tomorrow is my 31st birthday. It was the message inside that made me cry though. My mom wrote, “Looks like the year ahead will be an exciting one for you–we’ll be cheering for you along the way!” It made me cry because these little messages of support keep me going.

I had just got home from work and had been thinking, “I haven’t heard from any of my friends about my birthday, I wonder if they remembered…”. This feeling that I’m an adult now and well, your 31st birthday is really kind of “just another birthday”, has been apart of a string of thoughts I’ve had lately that have made me feel alone and kind of down on myself.

At this age, friends are settled in their routines, they are moving across the country, they are having children, buying houses, and a friend’s 31st birthday is kind of one of those things that gets put on the back-burner.

This alone feeling isn’t only related to my birthday though, it’s been pervasive since I began seriously talking about starting my photography business several months ago. People have been really positive and upbeat and overall really supportive, but they’re not here…sitting on the trapeze bars ready to make the leap. They don’t exactly know how this feels. And I don’t exactly expect them to, but at the same time, it’s difficult, this flying thing. I’m all alone. I’m sitting here, on the bar, constantly wondering, “how do I get myself to fly again? Shouldn’t I be flying? I should be flying right now. I need more time to practice flying. Why aren’t I as good at flying as so-and-so? Why am I so tired? I need more coffee so I can just go fly some more.” It truly is constantly on my mind, and I imagine that’s kind of tiring to hear about all the time.

So: friends, family, thanks for putting up with me during this time. And thank you for your words of encouragement, you have no idea how much it means to me! Even if you’re sick of hearing about it, you haven’t shown it outwardly. And, even if it feels like all I talk about is flying…I mean, photography, it’s because I am working on living my best life right now and it’s an all-consuming thing. I promise to not be like this forever!

We’re all working on learning how to live life between the trapeze bars. Not every moment is going to be the highest high and, when I do fall, (which will happen a time or two) I know I have amazing people to catch me. Thank you.

Keep an eye out for my next act people….and watch out Cirque du Soleil…I’m coming for you!

My birthday wish: (shhh…don’t tell the candles and the cake that I told you) I wish that I won’t let fear rule me and to let life happen as I let myself fly!

Cheers (and {hearts})

kathryn

p.s. “Cirque du Soleil” is an idea I’ve got in my head, not a person 😉

 

 

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